Losing Control

So as I was reading through the ORJI chapter I thought it was very interesting that what we show the world, what the world see in us, what no one see (the stuff we keep hidden) and even the unknown can affect our relationships, our communication, our decisions. Then reading the resistance chapter pulled this all together for me, showing me that these aspects we show and keep hidden effect whether we are accepting of ideas or resistant to them. I had one of those aha moments while reading which was totally awesome. I love having those moments, but this one was a little different. Instead of having that moment about understanding a concept, I had the moment about understanding something about myself. I am a (huge) control freak, ask my husband. Over the years of taking classes and having to work in groups I have learned to let some stuff go, but it still bothers me to relinquish control of pieces of a project. I am worse about control in my personal life. I am in control of everything, I do the bills, I take care of the groceries, I organize the house. Since having my daughter I did let my husband take over the clothes washing, but I still cringe sometimes if I walk by and see how he sorts the clothes. Anyway, getting to my point, my mom tries to help me out with stuff in my life, but I don’t let her a whole lot because that would be giving up my control. We get into arguments sometimes and I always pretty much wrote them off as her getting her feelings hurt because I wouldn’t let her help or I was short with her. After reading these chapters and thinking about our arguments I realized that every time we had an argument it was because I had a problem I was whining to her about and she would try and come up with solutions to my problem for me. Every solution I would shoot down and she would get mad a me. I was shooting down the solutions because I was afraid of losing control, of accepting help. I think my mom would enjoy this class! So I am going to talk to my mom about it and tell her I know I am a pain but that I may respond to Process Consultation practices.

Very Cool!

So I am going to be a copycat also and post a Johari window also. I love the Johari windows, I think it is very cool. Here is mine.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=poohbouncer

This chapter and the one on resistance really allowed me to reflect and I actually realized something about myself that I didn’t “see” before. See my next post!!!

It’s Been A While

I seems like forever since my last blog post. First I was on vacation and then the Edublogs site was down. I have to admit I really didn’t know what to expect from this class when I signed up for it, but needless to say I am pleasantly surprised. Honestly, I was nervous about coming back to school. So much in my life has changed, for the better, but still different nonetheless. When my husband and I were on vacation, we spent a few days at my uncle’s house in Palm Bay, Florida and we were all talking at lunch one day about school and how different it is now. My cousins are in 1st and 7th grade so we were all thinking back to our own school days and how we were on our first day of school and I said I was ready to go and never looked back. My husband said “Yeah you always loved school, you still do.” I agree with this statement for the most part. I love that feeling of learning something new, it is an exhilirating. I used to get that feeling in almost all of my science classes, but when I started back to grad school in secondary education I didn’t have the same feeling. I still enjoyed the classes, but the old feeling wasn’t there. And then I started the Adult Ed program and I got the feeling again. Believe me I didn’t at first because EDUS 660 did NOT give me warm fuzzies. But then I had ADLT 604 and there was my old friend again. So I guess I was worried that since so much had changed in my life that I wouldn’t feel the same about school anymore, but I shouldn’t have worried because I have my feeling back. I have found myself using the PC rules in everyday interactions. I am looking forward to more warm fuzzies!!!!